Have I mentioned my van recently? Perhaps it is because it took a few days for my language to return from pithy expressions of dismay and anger to a more erudite and refined form.
Monday morning I arise at the crack of 6:30am. Which is probably late to ranchers but dratted early to me. Even if the sun is rising and the sky is spectacular. I would rather be awake for a beautiful sunset. Never the less.....(back at the ranch) (Did you 'get' that reference?) I stumble through getting dressed, getting DS his breakfast, drinking coffee, checking email, gathering up paraphernalia, remembering to wear my driving glasses vs. the reading glasses, brushing my teeth just in case I am stopped by a policeman for driving erratically. Finally HIM is off to bed, DS is off to work and I am out the door. First stop, McD for coffee. Because McD is the only place in Slimy Shale that has a drive-through. Second stop, post office to post the tax forms. DONE! YEAH! I hereby vow to be prepared next year. (That will last about 3 weeks). Third stop, bank drive-through to deposit DS's paycheck from two weeks ago. Hey, when I procrastinate....... Fourth stop, pharmacy. A few minutes after parking I am back out of the pharmacy and beginning a career in the art of swearing. The ignition won't turn. Completely frozen. This is not the first time I have been stuck with a broken van. Nor is it the second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. I tried jiggling the steer column. Tried locking and unlocking the vehicle with the remote. Tried everything I could think of and even read the manual. Finally I called a neighbor who is a mechanic. But he was out of the house. His wife then told me what I should do. Sweet lady with a very bossy attitude. Next thing I knew, she was there. She had hung up the phone and darted into her vehicle to come give me directions in person. Which she then proceeded to do for half an hour. When that did not fix the problem, she dragged me out of the vehicle and did all those things herself. Because apparently to her I am stupid. Sigh. Finally she gave in and gave me a ride home. I was thankful for the ride. But not the harassment. She harangued the whole way home. Glad to be home and glad to be away from her.
Decided to awaken HIM because darn-it, he is at fault for keeping this piece of junk. He takes some time to awaken, we jump into his car for the ride back to the van. He jumps out of the car, into the van, and it starts.
What can I say.
We drive our vehicles home and he looks at the ignition but does not take it apart. Then he declares that it will probably never happen again.
I say It will probably never again happen to YOU. I am done with the piece of trash.
Now, today HIM decides we are taking a ride to W-Mart. We get exactly 1 1/2 miles down the road when the van stops cold. He gets it started again and we drive home to switch into his car. The neighbor stops us to laugh and say, 'Didn't like the van?' HIM says nah. I tell the neighbor that it just quit running and HIM doesn't want the neighbor to know because then it will be something HIM has to deal with. And not something he can laugh at the wife about.
I told him it would not happen again to me! Ha!
Now you know why I take my knitting with me everywhere. And why I get to knit for long periods of time.